Friday, May 4, 2012

poem 6

I Think I Killed Hammer Time

“Stop! Hammer time!”

The foreman called my way.

I turned to the crazed housewife

And said “I’m sorry I can’t stay.

My boss says we have to build your deck

Or else we won’t get paid”.

She replies, “I know you want money,

But don’t you wanna get laid?”

She reaches for my belt and I block her as I say,

“You can’t touch this”.

She said,” Every time you see me that Hammer’s just so hype”.

I said,” Ma’am that’s not true. You’re really not my type.”

I move to the door as she emits a cat-like hiss.

I say,” Get me outta here! You can’t touch this!”


  1. This is hilarious, I love how you fit "everytime you see that hammer's just so hype"

  2. Sorry I didn't realize the title was in the middle of the poem. I hope those are happy exclamation points...or at least not fearful...

  3. i like this alot. Very very clever. The sex-craving housewife is a great character to bring into any poem. I also like the cat like hiss that she emits. Do you think you could make this a longer poem? I am not sure if other lyrics could fit into the story but its got a lot of potential and a great beginning!

  4. This poem was so silly and made me giggle! I liked the use of the lyrics into the poem, especially the line, "every time you see me that Hammer's just so hype." This poem reminded me of all those cliched stories in the movies where the repair guy comes to the house to fix something and the housewife tries seducing him. I do think this poem has a great beginning and it makes me want to know more!

  5. Ellen,

    Really clever. The only thing that stopped me was the inclusion of three characters. They're introduced so quickly that I don't have time to understand the relationships.

    I'd agree with Emu and Rachel that this could be even longer.


  6. This is really pretty hilarious. I love your lyric inclusions and the situation is pretty laughable. Loved it :)