Seasons of Love
It’s funny how you can be lying
next to someone but still feel
Alone.
I ponder this as I toss curtains of rain
outside. This
Is how we’re the same as the
people; we can detect
When love wanes.
But when we cry, the whole world cries
With us. I hate making the world cry.
It sticks my leaves to the
pavement, or washes
Them away. But that’s what you’re
doing.
You take my reds, my yellows, my
browns, my oranges
And wisp them away with the white
of your frost.
You glaze my grass with icy
diamonds and stain my autumn air
With your frigid, falling stars.
On the bed you swimming in solitary
subconscious,
As I drip in loneliness.
And much like the ocean of white
sheets that blankets
The space between us, your
falling flakes tell me
There is no ‘us’ anymore.
I know I don't completely understand this but it made me think. I don't know who the narrator is and am confused but I liked it nonetheless. It made me think. Interesting imagery. I like the perspective.
ReplyDeleteI like this poem a lot. i agree with Katie, I'm not quite sure what it's about, but I think it's working really well to make me feel that lonesome feeling. It reminds me of drifting apart in a relationship, a feeling I recognize and revile. I like your wording, e.g.
ReplyDelete"You take my reds, my yellows, my browns, my oranges
And wisp them away with the white of your frost.
You glaze my grass with icy diamonds and stain my autumn air
With your frigid, falling stars."
Good stuff :)
Wonderful language here, Ellen, but the metaphors are mixing, no? Trees, rain, sheets.
ReplyDeleteThe line Chelle quotes is the best, I think. You become like the tree. But that metaphor isn't consistent, and you're moving from dramatic monologue--with the tree speaking?--to lyric poetry, with you speaking.
Let's talk this over.
Dave